Throwaway account. I will probably be deleting after I get a few answers because it's so specific. I just don't have anyone who can give good adviceI'm on mobile and having a rough night so sorry for error grammar or otherwise. Apparently also manic and just poured it all out so I tried to organize everything as best as I could?Two days ago my(22f) boyfriend (22m) who has been living with me in a town told me he was moving back in with his mom. There were many excuses, but the main point was he was unhappy in his career and felt like we had become roommates and didn't recognize himself. I agree, I have been unhappy too but I figured he would talk to me about it eventually and I was waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do. Then we could both put in the effort to fix it rather than it being me nagging that he's not enough (which is how he sees anything negative Ive said) I do think he's enough. I appreciate him for everything he does everyday and I saw him struggling and I tried to help. But I don't know how to help him.So I waited to see if he knew what he needed. I knew I couldn't suggest breaking up in case that made him finally bite the bullet. He says hes been in a bad place for a long time (his grandfather died and his dad had a cancer scare. I didnt have the tools to help him through either so I tried to just be there for him) finally he decides on how to fix it and he chooses to go long distance and moved back to his home two 3 hours away.Now it's a good thing for him. He's got his mom to support and help him, he's def a momma's boy. He's got cousins that are close to his age there, friends and family. He's got a good support system. His family is middle class and able to get him into therapy right away. And let him quit his job as they will take on his responsibilities. I agree that this is probably the best option for us.Because continuing the way we were was making us both more depressed. But with how he did it and with how I am. I just don't think I can do long distance.I'm hurt me that he decided without talking to me. It feels like I was blindsided even though I do know it wasnt perfect. But within 12 hrs he moved himself out and didn't even really discuss what this meant for us...He mentioned to my mom that he hoped I'd be willing to do long distance for a year while he worked on himself. (edit he talked to my mom after he had rehearsed what he wanted to say and I wasn't home I was shopping with my lil sis so my mom got the speech he had prepped but I didn't)I got a rushed version while we were on our way to go pick up a friend from their work. The whole time he was telling me why he's leaving i was focused on making sure to be supportive for him and not let him see what was going on in my head.Now I know I need to get back into therapy and I'm on a wait-list. But my state sucks. I'm not saying this is on him. I should've have done a million things differently. But what do I do now?There is bigger distances than 3 hours I know. But money is really tight for me (I don't have that support financially or otherwise) and honestly even if we had a 100 percent perfect relationship I wouldn't want to do a long distance relationship. It's not something I've enjoyed to do, I've moved a lot when I was younger and relationships (friends, romantic, or even family ones) are hard to maintain and putting a screen between two people doesn't create a better bond.Honestly for me a relationship is physical it's being there night after night is what builds it for me. Not me staring at a screen waiting for a text. I don't like doing phone calls (I have phone anxiety from other issues)Let me preface, I don't think there's any other reason for him doing this than his own mental health. Boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2; years. He moved in with me pretty quickly because of what is clearly now codependence on each other. I had just (not even 4 months) gotten out of a really abusive relationship. And honestly I'm not sure his past, but apparently I'm his first adult one. But right away he put me on a pedestal for being "out of his League" look wise.Im scared though if I try to leave, that it will make him abandon his own path to healing. He wants to try to start over. But honestly there's so little that our relationship is I don't know if I'm willing to go through all that only to be left like this every night where it feels like my chest needs to be held together (I freaking feel like Bella Swann from twilight) and it's confusing because I'm mourning like it's a break up. But he's still texting me that he loves me and acting like he's just at work or something.Should I try it for a few months? I know I need to be single for a while and focus on myself. But I'm really having a hard time letting go (only 36 hrs later it's hard coming home to the empty bed and seeing everything left as it was from that morning)Or should I just get all the cutting off happen now and start trying to heal rather than take a bunch of small hits. Because I can't see how something new couldn't fix together can be fixed apart like this.... I'm just not strong enough. Every part of me wants a clean break but I'm curious if anyone has anything to say about mending themselves apart. There's no kids or anything involved just two idiot 20 year olds.
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