What is this?

We've been friends since school, and we've always had something between us, i know you feel it, but time has passed us by so many times. Everytime we talk, everytime we see each other it's there. But it can never be a thing, we arn't even sure if it is a thing. This is the third time you've told me about your feelings, many years inbetween, once in scholl when we were both in a relationship, once in college when just you were in one, and again, just now...We are both in a relationship and we have no way to see each other, all we can do is text and call when your other half is at work and this isn't enough for me, speaking this way is hard especially when our current topic is difficult. I hate how unsure we are about this, these feelings, this soft spot we have for each other. I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but as long as i've known you it hasn't changed.I've told you about how i think about you even when we arn't talking, no matter how long that may be, months, years as it has been previously, but you never keave my mind and i know you experience the same, i wonder what about our connection is so strong and why it has to be this way.I guess i'll never know.I'll just keep letting time pass us by as i keep improving, as you stay stuck and unhappy. This isn't the end for us i know that for sure but it isn't the beggining either.What is this? It has to be a rhetorical question because as much as i think about it i can't figure it out, so im going to stop trying to understand and just enjoy the time that just passes us by.