Thursday, 7 May 2020

Trapped with Family who Mock my Bipolar Disorder


Context: I (22F) found out my former roommate had submitted a notice to vacate and end our lease without telling me. I was left with a large bill and nowhere to go except to my dad's. I've been here with him, my step-mom, and my sister. Most complexes here have stopped leasing, and those continuing are price gouging. I'm stuck for the time being.My dad is diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My mom and his mom both say he was diagnosed with bipolar but continued seeing different providers until he heard a diagnosis he was okay with. He's taken medication for this for 9 years. This is important to note to explain some of the hypocrisy below.I've seen a therapist every week for 20 months. I am very dedicated to managing symptoms and living a mentally healthy and happy life. During current circumstances, I use telehealth. To have any kind of privacy for these sessions, I have to hike into the woods of their property. My step-mom looks for me to try to listen to my calls. My sister does her very best to distract her and my dad from eavesdropping but can only do so much. She's been the best support through this.After one of these calls, I came back to the house, picked off two ticks, and went upstairs to the room I'm sleeping in. I was dozing off when they started to eat dinner. I heard my name mentioned a few times and went to the door out of curiosity. My dad and step-mom were going on about how I'm just dramatic and want to be like my bio mom (she lives with bipolar 1 as well). I went back to the bed because I didn't want to hear anything else.After dinner, my sister came to check on me and shared more details of what they'd said. They berated that I take medication (my step-mom now knows what I take after going through my belongings), that I'm "addicted" to these medications, that "insert last name here" family members shouldn't be weak enough to need a therapist, etc.The thing that kills me is that my dad takes medication. My step-mom knows this. He's been emotionally and mentally abusive my entire life and was physically abusive to my mother. She's having surgery tomorrow morning, and if I go see her, I can't come back. I don't have anywhere to go, and they're using that to control every decision.I don't know what I'm looking for here. I just feel so hopeless. I'm grateful that I have a job I can do from home, that I have a roof over my head, and that I have food to eat. I know things could be much worse. However, I don't know how much more of this I can take before I crack.

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