Me and my wife have been together since we were in college... I was her first and she was mine... Over the years we grew went through our phases. After college she got a job in a neighboring city while I got and internship. Post that I'm moved to her city and we had a live in relationship for about 2 years... During all this time we have been having minimal to almost no sex. She lost her mother during this time and me and my family were there to comfort her and console her. When I would question her she would say she wasn't comfortable before marriage. We would it maybe during special occasions like birthday only on my insistence. She would never initiate. Me being the idiotic nice guy said I understand and we would wait till marriage. Flash forward a few years later and we are getting married. At this point we have been together 6-7 years... With a sex life of maybe twice or thrice a year. Marriage happens and honeymoon night we don't do anything... We go on holidays and nothing... There was no lust or desire from her side. I tell her this she brushed it off saying it's normal in the beginning. I keep hope. One year passes and i regularly have fights over how we don't have any sex . Year 3 and it finally hits her. We have not been intimate or close at all. We live like roommates... She has her own life now and I'm just waiting on her to be normal and enjoy a healthy married life... Nothing happens... My friend gets married and she realizes that women too want sex and desire their husbands. This realisation leads her to seek a councellor... After about 2 months she comes to the realization she's not sexually attracted to me. She isn't attracted to me in general. She says she loves me... A lot.. but the urge never comes. We've been together 10 years now... And for 5 of those I've been ranting on how this was not normal for us to have no intimacy... She says she doesn't find me attractive and she doesn't know what to do... I'm soooooo angry cause this was something I've been constantly saying and trying to fix but she never gave a fuck before. Now she realizes it... I feel like I've ruined my life behind this lady... Been understanding, compassionate, supported her through her worst. We are now headed for a divorce cause she doesn't know how to fix it and the feeling isn't coming back. I suggested it... As I'm out of options now. I can't even look at her the same way... I have bouts of extreme anger towards her. I end up blaming her for ruining my life and the 10 years we've been together. I do the even know if it's fixable at this point. I still had hope when she was in councelling. Now after all this I don't even know. We don't have sex at all now. It's been abt 5 months. Once I saw nothing changed even after councelling I just could take it anymore. We are both reluctant to seperate... She says she loves me but I'm.finding that hard to understand I still love her and find her attractive but this seems to be a one way street. Ive been going to the gym and trying to improve. But what other option is there. She's also given up on believing it can be fixed. I don't even know what the problem is now. After 10 years she comes and tells me this. After 10 years! She initially said that she said maybe cause I'm not ambitious enough.. not successful enough... Cause I took a sort of back seat cause she was doin really well... And I though it was good cause we were married etc. At this point I've told her I want a divorce... We can't keep living like this... Especially since nothing was improving and she wasnt even making an effort to fix anything. I dunno... This was a rant I guess... Anyone shed any light on this...
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